(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)Edit


  1. praguepride (Talk) 17:18, June 12, 2014 (UTC)


Exiled JediEdit
  • Are there any quotes that you can add to this article?
  • When adding a reference you should use <ref name="your ref name here"> not <ref>.
    • All checked.
  • Intro and Infobox
    • I do not believe that you can source his homeworld as Kamino to the episode.
    • As it currently is, the first sentence of the introduction contains too much information. I would suggest splitting the sentence and having the first sentence focus more on who the character is and when he was lived.
      • Done
    • You need context on the Zillo Beast in the introduction. Please make it clearer how it is related to the situation.
      • Done too.
  • I'll continue my review once you take care of these.--Exiled Jedi 20px (Greetings) 03:26, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
    • as now i am suppose to sleep (-_*) i can answer you to the first thing. hawkeyes never said one word except argg. So there is no quotes i can add. For the rest, i will do it tomorrow. Thx ejEmperor Jarjarkine 20px Senate Hall 04:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
      • Since I assume someone must name Hawkeye during the show, you could add that as a quote for the introduction.
  • Your cite for the meters in the infobox still uses an unnamed ref. The current reference doesn't point anywhere.
  • You need to state that he was male in the body of the article.
  • You cannot source the personality and traits section to Episode II.
  • I'll continue my review after you fix these.--Exiled Jedi 20px (Greetings) 00:37, June 14, 2014 (UTC)

NOTE: These are just suggestions to make reading smoother. Any and all of these could be argued against :P --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)

  • consider rewording "..., although living beings were not affected by it." in bio --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • consider rewording" ... and some others..." in 2nd bio paragraph. Were these "others" other clone troopers? --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • consider removing " the incident." from "...but Hawkeye was killed by the beast in the incident." --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • P&T is very short. Is there anything else that can said about him and his personality as a clone? --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • Consider rewording "Hawkeye, along with many other clones, wore..." in Equipment. --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
Master of the universeEdit

Salut! I found a few things in my review:

  • This may be a "sofixit", but you should link to the battle in the intro.
    • Done
  • Additionally, keep in mind that things need to be linked in the infobox, the intro, and the body. I added a couple, but there may be more missing.
    • Done
  • Procedurally, I don't think you can link his height to the Episode (infobox) and AOTC (personality and traits). The Encyclopedia entry should be best.
    • Done
  • You should try to mention that he is a male somewhere in the body.
    • Done
  • Could you try to add more info about how the Beast awakened?
    • It may be hard because, there's not alot to say
    • Done
  • He's the one who gets squashed, right? Maybe add a bit more context to his death.
    • Done
  • One more thing, you mention the gunships in the intro, but nowhere else. You should find a way to add it or simply remove it.
    • Done
  • Great work! Corellian Premier20pxThe Force will be with you always 02:10, June 13, 2014 (UTC)